...finding that place...

I think I'm getting there.

I have a sort of bubbling in my stomach and a fluttering in my heart, an excitement if you will. I can see connections and parallels and draw conclusions. I can make charts and more charts, analyse results, and write 1000 words in one breath (ok, fine. 2 breaths. And it's really on 869 words, but who's counting...you know, other than me?).

I'm up early today and within a couple of hours of waking I've managed to have my coffee, check my email, and finish writing the final report for my ethics review committee. I don't have any idea if it's actually what they want, but it's what I've written and it's within the length limit, and it looks specifically at 3 questions central to my research so it can't be that far off-base, can it?

Plus, it made me feel giddy.

Something that also made me feel giddy: searching for 2 book titles on Topcat and seeing "reserved for someone" in their 'status' section. Uh huh. That 'someone' is me. It's always good to be a somebody.

And then, another thing that's exciting, is when searching on Amazon.com for "Conflict and Collusion" (a book title, fascinating) finding that the hardcover copy is on sale for less than 50 bucks, and then, noticing at the bottom of the page where Amazon suggests 5 books you might also be interested in, that you actually already own 3 of them.

Yes, I'm just that elitist. And yes, that makes me excited.

Ok, really, what it comes down to is an affirmation of sorts (albeit through Amazon, so a teaspoon of salt is necessary here, rather than just a grain), an affirmation that I am on the right track at the moment, and that all my thoughts and requests for reading material are not for naught (ooooh, tricky homophone there, dang!).

So while I may be discouraged about the fact that 70% of junior teachers are being 'surplused' in Ontario, there is a hiring freeze in most Boards of Education, and my job prospects have been slim-to-none, I may be actually getting somewhere on my thesis which could do a lot for my self-esteem.

A good write-on always lifts my spirits!