"But I want to go home...let me go home.
And I feel just like I'm living someone else's life,
It's like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right."
~ Michael Buble, 'Home.'
They say that "home is where the heart is" but that can't be true because my heart is in so many different places at once that it's impossible for me to claim any one place as my 'home.' I left part of my heart in Sierra Leone when I boarded the Hoovercraft on August 3rd, part of my heart lies in Halifax with the people at the church I attended there, and at Dalhousie, a piece of my heart is in Peterborough with my friends from university and the 'good old days', and what is left of my pulpy-mess-of-a-heart is here, in Toronto at my childhood home. It's strange to be back. It's a bit like stepping into a time warp...my room still has the red and white stripped IKEA wallpaper with the 'magic mushroom' border (it's a wonder I wasn't a druggie at a young age), my book shelves are filled with "The Real Mother Goose Collection," Trixie Belden mysteries, and the complete Anne of Green Gables series. Throw in a few eclectic Australian chidlren's novels and picture books and you've got my childhood in a nutshell. Oh, and don't forget the Narnia Series. Mustn't forget C.S. Lewis.
I spent today catching up on emails and figuring out some sort of schedule for the next few weeks. I'm hoping to catch up with friends - I've missed them! I rearranged my room and now the chaos has just increased since it's a major undertaking. I'm sitting in what looks like the aftermath of a hurricane. I also washed all of the clothes I currently have with me, most of which are horribly inappropriate for what I can only assume is the fast-approaching fall and winter. I need to get back to Halifax to pick up my stuff from the very kind Braun family who are housing it. Then maybe I'll feel more settled?
In a piece of uplifting and hilarious news, my good friend Ryan and Rebecca Paulsen are going to become my new neighbours!! How exciting is that? Very, let me tell you because they are uber-cool and I haven't seen them for years...mainly because they've been in South Korea and I've been in Africa. Go figure we'd end up living one street away from each other in downtown Toronto. I saw Ryan's new address on Brunswick Street and was thinking "what are the odds they're moving to Toronto?" Seemingly excellent! It's a nice coincidence...incidently, Cam Fraser, you should come down and visit all of us after Sept. first since we're now centrally located! :)
It's time for bed, I think. I'm still jet-lagged and ridiculously grumpy. It's good that I haven't actually seen anyone yet. I actually havve a t-shirt that says "grumpy" on it (from an old boyfriend...was he trying to tell me something??) I think I'll wear it all week. The highlight of my day tomorrow: my first real haircut in a year! Today, I had my first bath in a year.
You've got to appreciate the little things. Like bathing; never underestimate cleanliness.
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Dear Em,
Home is where the heart is? Hmm I don't know who said that, but it must have been before the era of airplanes and fast cars.
While reading your blog I am beginning to wander if it where possible for part of your heart to be in a place you have actually never visited. I try and imagine what setling back in Canada must be like for you. Sure thing; some things are still the same... we had good old C.S. Lewis on the bookshelf in Freetown too. As for the rest of the authors... I'm completely oblivious!
Read something good from an author the other day (and send it to G, which made him use it for his MSN name, which I think is hilarious). Anyways it goes like this:
" Faith never knows where it is being led, but it loves and knows the One who is leading."
Big Hug,
Hanneke (from a cold and rainy Holland)
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